Doing Good is Hard

This is the title of Chapter 9 in Rhinestone Jesus: I’m not going to lie-doing good is hard.
And as I read this chapter feelings of guilt and embarrassment washed through me. Kristen talks about how the “good” doesn’t translate to “easy” and how ever since she said Yes to God it has been a struggle of complications to her plans: sicknesses, fear, busy schedules, being homesick, paperwork and let downs
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This made me think today as I was biking (my new favorite form of cardio since battling a knee-injury demanded that I no longer run). My thoughts during my bike rides correspond quite well with my attitude toward Jesus. On the downhill and on the flat stretches of road I feel strong and think “man I can go further than I planned because this is easy.” Then the uphill comes. And as I huff and puff I have to convince myself not to give up and walk the hill instead.
As a Christian I feel strong when it’s easy, but when trouble comes I forget to instantly turn to Him with my burdens. I try to figure out the problems on my own and in some cases I give up, something I’m working on.

As I’m reading this chapter it has sparked in me a new desire to lean on God with all of my feelings: problems, hopes, fears, excuses, joys. He can handle it, even when I can’t. That realization has made me feel light. To know I can place my burden on Him and He will endure it with me is a calming feeling.

“Getting to the good part requires making it through the valley of the hard.” (page 148)

This paragraph is too good not to share, this is what really affected me.

“God wanted me desperate. He wanted me depending on Him, not only for direction, wisdom and protection, but for every breath I took. Because really I am. But there’s something powerful in realizing and acknowledging complete dependence on Him. I was afraid to do anything but call out to Jesus in my weakness. Jesus keeps asking me to have faith for the impossible. And it makes me desperate and I feel like I can’t stand, so I have no choice but to fall on Him. He meets me there, every time.”