Discovering my own sparkly "Jesus" pin

The premise behind the name for Welch’s book, Rhinestone Jesus¸ started with a pin the author wore every day through high school. “People could see I was a Christian because I pinned on my sparkly symbol of faith, my rhinestone “Jesus” pin, nearly every day; my identity was pretty hard to miss.” (Introduction xiii).

She talks about how donning this piece of Jesus flare practically shouted at everyone who she was and what she stood for. But then Welch goes deeper and talks about the trials in her life where she really learned what it means to be a Christian when your life isn’t so sparkly and your relationship with God is put to the test. Her realization was that pinning a Jesus pin on and calling yourself a Christian wasn’t enough.

This idea really got me thinking about my own relationship with God. I might not wear a rhinestone Jesus pin but lately I have been questioning how superficial of a Christian I actually have let myself be. I pray every night and thank God for his blessings, ask for forgiveness for my sins and talk about what happened that day. I treat Jesus as a bedtime chore rather than a relationship that deserves/demands constant communication. When something amazing happens I don’t thank him in that moment. When something is hard I don’t immediately look to him for help. It’s only later, an afterthought. And I don’t want my Christianity to be an afterthought any more.

One quote that really stuck with me at the beginning of this book is on page 4 when Welch says “Christianity wasn’t about all the things I did for Jesus; it was about coming to know Him better and making disciples.”

Which brings me to my sparkly Jesus pin. How much of my first mission trip was a calling to serve God and help his children, and how much of it was for me? To feel better about myself, like I’m actually doing something worthy? I’m realizing there is a huge difference between selflessly serving in the name of God, and serving my own agenda to appear to be a good person.

I sound like I’m being hard on myself perhaps, and please don’t get me wrong; my selfishness is not the reflection of the group I traveled with or the wonderful work they do; it is simply a direct reflection on where I was in my life and my walk with God at that time. I went to Ethiopia under the pretense that I would be saving someone and come out the hero; in reality that trip saved me. It woke in me a strong desire to love and serve others, not for the glory it would bring me or for the self-satisfaction I would gain, but for no other reason than because He told me to.

“When you serve the least of these, you are serving me.”